Monday, November 28, 2011

Who Is ****?

This is a giving time of year and I'm feeling generous.

To: You
From: Me
A present:
****'s identity

First name only. If you went to school with me, you should know (or be able to find out with relative ease) his last name. If you didn't go to school with me, well, you missed out on a fabulous education. No, that's not it. What I mean to say is, if you didn't go to school with me, the last name isn't important.

Remember how little Audra likes games? Here's a game for you. I've spelled out his name in the comments section of six blog posts. Click each of the words linked below for clues. This shouldn't be terribly difficult, but good luck!

*  *  *  *

*  *  *  *

CONGRATULATIONS! You've solved one of life's most insignificant mysteries. What's that? Still not satisfied? You need a face to go along with that name? So demanding... Fine.

Click Here To See Pictures of ****

Do you know what happened to this guy? After reading about my multi-year crush, I'm curious to know. He was in my freshman high school yearbook, but I couldn't find him in the others. He shunned me in junior high so, yeah, we didn't keep in touch.

Now that you have a face and a name, who's going to read through the entire diary again from the beginning? 

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Poem By Audra - March 20, 1992

No more diary entries, but I hope this bonus material will help ease your pain.

My aunt was over at my grandma's house and found a poem I wrote March 20, 1992. It's called "I Wonder"
The original

I wonder why people die,
I wonder why people lie.
I wonder why cats meow,
I wonder why food's called chow.

I wonder why I was born,
I wonder why goats have horns.
I wonder why kids like pets,
I wonder why we make horse bets.

I wonder why the sky is blue
I wonder why moms make stew.
I wonder why dogs bark
I wonder why the night is dark

I'm not afraid of thunder,
I'm not afraid to talk,
It's just I like to wonder,
why people have to walk.

By Audra S age 10 March 20, 1992

This doesn't appear to be an assignment, as there is no grade on it and I signed my name at the bottom (not the top). But I'm not sure it was a totally spontaneous expression of my thoughts. Maybe my grandma commissioned a poem? By the way, who in my life was making horse bets? No one. Where did that come from? I wonder...

My poetry skills never really improved much. I still like a simple rhyme scheme. Animals are often mentioned, despite not being that fond of animals. I'm still lazy and don't care if a line, stanza, or entire poem makes much sense or not. It's my poem. You can't tell me what to do.

But wait. That's not all!

This song is dedicated to little Audra:

It was fun collaborating with my 10-year-old self.

Click here to hear more of my shitty poems set to music. (Note: These songs have nothing to do with this diary and were written by me as an adult. Sad but true.)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

She's A Fat Assed Bitch - July 14, 1993

Day: Wednesday  Date: 7-14-93 
Jenny [last name] is a fat assed bitch! I'm not going to write about that though. Monday Gerald took me to his house to pick up Lyndon. I had to change gears and I didn't know what in the hell I was doing! We went into Town and Country. The manager asked Gerald a question. It was "who's that little girl that always comes in here with you each morning?" He told her "she's my wife and we're from Georgia." From Town and Country we picked up Barb. From there we went back to the club. Yesterday and Today me, Ricky, Billy, Greg, Andy and some other people played Black Jack. It's fun. It's about 10:00 PM. Gotta Go!

Audra N S I
age 11, 10 months 27 days  9:56.43
going into 7th grade at Bridger Jr. 
high  Brown eyes  Brown hair
lost a tooth

Little Audra liked to tease. How can you open with something like that and then offer no follow up?!  Jenny was a girl I knew from the Boys and Girls Club summer program. I don't think she even lived in the same city as me. And I don't think I ever saw her again after this summer. Oh well. Who needs another fat assed bitch in their life? Not me.

I learned a lot of things at the Boys and Girls Club. Gambling was one such thing.

I love the conversation at the gas station about me being Gerald's wife. Gerald was black. I was white. Gerald was an adult male. I was a little girl. I guess the manager at Town and Country had a problem with our relationship. News flash: Friendship can transcend age and skin color. Way to stick it to her, Gerald!

Our friendship was perhaps unconventional, but not inappropriate. Get over yourself, lady.

And that, my friends, is the last entry I wrote in the Snoopy diary. Thanks for reading. It's been real.

This is me saying, "Later,"

Audra N. S. I.
Age 30
Brown eyes  Brown hair
Have all my teeth

p.s. I deleted the three paragraphs of reflections about this "journey" and what I "learned about myself." You're welcome. If you really want to know what I said in those three paragraphs, wait 20 years and check this blog. I'm saving those thoughts for the new diary I'm going to start tonight. Journaling is fun. Gotta go!

Friday, November 18, 2011

We Went Swimming - July 7, 1993

Day: Wednesday  Date: 7-7-93 
Hello. Today at the Boys and Girls Club we went swimming. Gerald made the people who didn't swim read some big boring books. This morning Gerald and me just drove around. I changed gears. It was fun. I hope he takes me someplace tomorrow. We're going skating tomorrow. Tonight's meeting was at Tom's house then to ours. We fired Veronica and we're giving Patricia a notice that she needs to pay some dues. My arm is hurting! BYE!
Audra S
age 11 10 months
22 days

going in 7th grade
at Bridger Jr. High school.

The car Gerald and I drove around in was his girlfriend's white Dodge Neon. Prior to my outings with Gerald, I didn't have much exposure to a manual transmission, so changing gears was a big deal. Gerald was such a good teacher. Not only was he teaching me to drive a stick at age 12, he made me read a big boring book while I did not to swim. We swam at the indoor pool at Bridger, my future junior high school. The smell of chlorine was overwhelming, so I spent as much time as possible standing by the vending machines in a hall that was outside of the pool area.

We took our Chucky's World Club seriously. Firing people and demanding dues be paid? This was a business venture, people. Not fun and games.

I love this song even though I don't love swimming.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I Got A Hash Brown - July 6, 1993

Day: Tuesday  Date: 7-6-93
Hello. Today Gerald took me to McDonalds. I got a hash brown. It's raining right now (10:32 PM). We went bowling today with the club. Even though I suck at bowling I had a good time. We had our first Chucky's Club meeting today. I'm the treasurer. Robbie's the president, Charles is the secretary and president's assistant, Tom and Patty are vice presidents and Kerry and Veronica are errand runners and advertisers. Tomorrow we're supposed to have another meeting but I don't know where!! Tomorrow at the club we're going swimming wich I am not. 
Audra S age 11 10 months 23 days
going into 7th grade 
Bridger Jr. High school
[I drew a weird face at the bottom with a speech bubble that says "C-YA!"]
There's some more preferential treatment. Instead of eating the breakfast served at the Boys and Girls Club, Gerald took me to McDonald's. Why? Because of my sparkling personality, duh. Actually, I don't really know. He was in his 20s and (I assume) on a career path to manage a community center such as the Boys and Girls Club. I was almost 12, going into 7th grade. We became best buds for some reason. He brought his Super Nintendo to the club so we could play Mario Kart. This is how I earned the nickname, "Toad." I would always race as that character.

Toad, Princess, Luigi, Mario

Here's the card Gerald made for me at the end of the summer. Note the lovely clip art and the dot matrix printing. I wonder if I wrote Gerald a thank you note? If so, do you think he still has it? Gerald, if perchance you read this, let me know.

Front and inside.
Looks like Chucky's Club is fully staffed--including advertisers. I'm 100% certain we never bought ad space in any publication. Perhaps we drew some signs or printed flyers and stuck them to telephone poles. I'm also 100% certain we never sold ad space in our comics to local businesses. Perhaps we told some unassuming kid in the neighborhood we would incorporate his or her likeness into the comic for a low fee of $5.00. 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The 4th Of July Was Stupid - July 5, 1993

Day: Monday  Date: 7-5-93
Damn! I haven't written in you in a long time. Alot's happend since then. I won the 400 meter in the track meet. School's out. I'm going to the Boys and Girl club for the summer. I've had strep throat too. We Saw Jurassic Park today. It was cool! [my youngest cousin] went with us too because she spent last night with us. They moved the basket ball court up to the old tennis court. Robbie, Tom, Patty, Charles, Kerry and me are in a club. It's called Chucky's World club. Robbie draws these comics and we sell them. It's a cool club and I'm not going to get into detail though. Gerald a guy at the Boys and Girls club takes me to Town and Country to play video games. I hope he takes me tomorrow.
The 4th of July was stupid. We sat in the grass watching fire works for 15 min. cause thats how long the show display was. The show display was worthless to top it all off it rained! Oh yea! [my oldest cousin] had her baby. It's a boy. [first name] [middle name] [last name]. He's adorable. But he cries all the time it makes me sick. I'm gonna stop. Bye! 
age 11            11:01.47
going into
7th grade
[and then I drew a weird face on the bottom of the page]

I found a stack of the comics Robbie drew. Guess we didn't sell that many. Haha. Forgive me for not scanning them in, but I don't want to track Robbie down to get his permission. Chucky was a mouse. He did stuff. The end.

I loved Gerald from the Boy's and Girl's Club. I can't lie; I enjoyed the preferential treatment. Who wouldn't want to hang out at a gas station (Town and Country) at 7:30 a.m. and play arcade games with an adult when the alternative is being stuck at the club doing boring stuff with your peers?  Grown ups can drive. And bankroll your fun. And are generally more interesting than 11-year-olds. That's how I saw it.

I was pretty critical of that 4th of July show display. It must have really sucked. Or maybe I was just starting to realize that if you've seen one fireworks show display, you've seen them all.

My cousin had her baby the same night I was supposed to see "Benny and Joon." I think we got a call about her going into labor right as we were leaving the house which made us late to the movie. I was pissed. Thank god we eventually got the movie on VHS, enabling me to finally see the first fifteen minutes that this child's birth forced me to miss. But don't worry [first name] [middle name] [last name]. I always have and always will love you, even though your infant cries sickened me.

Speaking of movies...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

We're Having A Popcorn Party - May 26, 1993

Day: Wed.  Date: 5/26/93
Tomorrow we're having a popcorn party. I'm bringing nerds. Mrs. Gym Teacher says she got the ribbons from the track meet but she don't know who gets what. I don't got much to say. Bye. 
age 11
6th grade

Yum. Nerds. Apparently this end-of-the-year party was a pot luck of sorts. I hope somebody else brought Skittles.

My terrible grammar is starting to annoy me (e.g. she don't know who, I don't got much, see if they was pregnant). I didn't write like this in 5th grade. What happened? Did **** talk like this? Was I trying to show that we had poor grammar in common? The entries in the Snoopy diary from 6th grade are typically longer (current entry excepted), but apparently I became lazier with my spelling and grammar. You're such a disappointment, little Audra.