He Asked Me To Go With Him - April 24, 1992

Day: April 24, 1992  Date:    


Today something very very exciting happened! **** asked me to go with him. I bet you know what I said. I said yes of course! Now the whole 5th grade I'm going with ****. Today ____ called me 4 times. She bugged me then she called **** and bugged him. Oh ya, **** asked me during math. Well **** called me and so did ____. **** and I talked for a long time and I also found out that **** talked about me alot. Here are some things I love about ****: 1 He's cute, 2 nice, 3 cool, 4 funny, 5 excelent personalyty, 6 he likes me, 7 I like him, 8 excelent sense of humor, 9 he's neat, 10 he doesn't ever put me down, 11 he likes me for what i am, 12 he wouldn't mind kissing me. I can't think of anything right now. I'll have more to say later.


Audra S age 10
5th grade

OMG! He actually asked me out?! During math?! I said yes, of course, and promptly made a list of things I love about him. I like numbers 10, 11 and 12 the best. Maybe there's hope for this relationship after all. But wait. This is extremely foreign territory for her. People calling her on the phone. Going out with someone. Not being able to think of anything more to write. I hope she can deal with all this newness.

Spoiler alert: This would be the only time Audra was asked out during her elementary through high school career (unless you count this). And then in college, only one dude ever asked me out. But he was way too into his (shitty) band and (shitty) art and (shitty) drugs for my taste. My husband never really asked me out, but he did ask me to marry him. So that's cool. Oh, but don't think we met one day and he immediately proposed. Or that I was a mail order bride or something. We've been in each others' lives for almost ten years now, so there was some stuff in between. Too bad I didn't continue this diary into adulthood!

Back to 1992. Well, 1993. This song wouldn't come out for another year after this diary entry, but picture little Audra and **** slow dancing to this song for ever and ever.

Today We Went To The Symphony - April 23, 1992

Day: April 23, 1992 THURS.  Date:   


Today we went to the symphony. You know how I said **** wouldn't sit by me, well he did! Mrs. Teacher made him. One thing is wierd though. Everyone was talking about me and ****. ____ said **** wanted to go with me but I wanted to ask him myself. I didn't get to. Well that's all


Audra S
age 10 5th grade

My teacher was the best wing woman ever!

I HATE MY MOM - April 22, 1992

Day: April 22, 1992 WED.  Date:     

I HATE MY MOM! She's a BITCH!! She won't buy me another pair of shoes or even help me study for my test. I HATE her. She'd help Charles anytime but for me, hell no! Anytime something's broken she yells at me even if I didn't do it. It's not fair! I wouldn't mind if I died, then she'd feel guilty that she yelled at me so many times, she hit me and called me names. I'd look down at her and laugh! She had her chance and she blew it! Enough about my mom. 

Tomorrow my class is going to the symphony. I wish **** would sit by me but he won't. He never looks at me anymore. I still love him but he only likes me as a friend I think because I've never gotten a chance to ask him if he would go with me. Oh well. That sucks!

Audra S age 10
5th grade

The second paragraph is typical for this diary. Pining away for the same old boy who only likes me as a friend blah blah blah.

But that first paragraph is crazy. You know it had nothing to do with helping me study and everything to do with shoes. She had her chance and she blew it...BY NOT BUYING ME THOSE FUCKING SHOES!!! This is the kind of stuff that makes me never want to have kids.

Buy me this or I will die!

He Had To Leave Early - April 19, 1992

Day: April 19, 1992 Sun.  Date:    


Since I forgot to write in this on Thursday I'm writing in it tonight. Well on Thurs. my class went to an assembelay. I'll never know if **** would go with me or not. Before the assembley Mrs. Teacher put us boy girl. She just shoved a boy between 2 girls. **** would've gotten Friday activity, (it was Thursday activity) but he had to leave early.


Audra S age 10 5th grade

My god, why did I feel that this anecdote was worth writing down three days after the fact? And such drama about never knowing if he'll go with me! Yes, that minute spent walking to the assembly was the ONLY opportunity you would ever have to find out. Hmm...that might actually be true if he left early because he was sick. So sick he died later that afternoon. But what are the odds of that being true?

This would have been Little Audra's anthem had it existed in 1992:

He Would Stand Up For Me - April 15, 1992

Day: April 15, 1992, WED.  Date:    


There is one thing I really like **** for. He would stand up for me. He does it now. For instance, if somebody was going to beat me up, they would have to fight ****. In capture the flag, **** and I talked. I almost had the flag. I was right by the boundary. But somebody got my flag thing. I'm beginning to think **** only likes me as a friend. That sucks.


Audra S age 10 5th grade

A couple of things jump out:

1. Were people threatening to beat me up? Why would I say something like that? Maybe I was just hoping for an opportunity to watch **** kick somebody's ass on my behalf. I have already written about how "exciting" it is to watch somebody get beat up.
2. You're "beginning" to think he only likes you as a friend? What makes you think that? The fact that he's asked out practically every other girl in your class? Get a clue!
3. This diary is mostly about my pathetic crush on a boy. I like him, but does he like me? That's the question that gets asked on nearly every page. But it has also served as a description of my gym class and recess activities. Little Audra liked playing games! Capture the flag was one of the best. 

I wish we had played for a championship belt.

Today I Didn't Stare At Him - April 14, 1992

Day: April 14, 1992 TUES.  Date:   


Today I didn't stare at ****. He and I just flurted with him. He was acting his usual. ____, ****, and I had to clean the terreon. I don't know how to spell it! I never knew how soft ****'s skin is until today. I found ____ is going to be nicer to me because ____, ____, ____, and ____ don't like her. So at lunch there is 4 people on each end of the table. It used to just be me, then ____ and _____ came down. Well at the club today I found out **** is going with ____. Ew!!! ____ is being alot nicer to me. I'm surprised. I'm becoming more popular in school too. The end.


Audra S
age 10
5th grade

terreon = terrarium

Poor little Audra. I hate to break it to you, but you will never be popular. Ever.

Reading about your lunch table is sad. People were mean to you? It's okay. You were kind of a bitch to people, too. And seriously, when will you get over ****? He's going with somebody else again. Maybe you're holding out hope that he's going through all the girls alphabetically by last name and he will eventually get to you. That's silly. Just focus on your school work so you can go to college, get a master's degree and be unintentionally unemployed at age 30.

He Had On 2 Silver Bracelets - April 13, 1992

Day: April 13, 1992 Mon.  Date:   


Today nothing really happened. One thing I noticed in gym was when we were playing Doctor Dodge, **** had tons of chances to get me out, but he didn't. He got everyone else out though. I also noticed that **** had on 2 of those silver bracelets that have your name on them. I wonder what they say? I hope the next time **** has to go to another class, I get to take him. Then I could ask him if he would go with me. That's all folks!


Audra S age 10 5th grade

Doctor Dodge was the flavor of dodge ball we played at Thomas Hart Benton. It was a ton of fun.

The boy I liked wore not one, but two, silver bracelets on his arm. One probably had his name on it and the other was engraved with "Duke" (his favorite basketball team) or "____" (a girl he was 'going out with') or "I.S.S." (since he was in trouble all the time).

Maybe it said, "Sexy"