Today I Was Supposed To Get My Glasses - December 14, 1991

Day: Sat.   Date: 12-14-91

Today I was supposed to get my glasses, but they weren't there yet. I pitched a fit. We went to grandma's house. Picked up Derek, then we went to pick up D.J. All of us went to Independence Center. After that, we dropped D.J. off. We went back to grandma's house. Derek recorded Charles a tape. It was M.C. Hammer too legit to quit! We went home. Charles, Mom, and I, watched some T.V. The shows were ones that my mom new. Before we watched T.V. we got a package from my dad. It was our Christmas presents.


Audra S
age 10
5th grade

First of all, I'm proud of little Audra for including so many "interesting" details in one diary entry. This is a significant improvement from yesterday's pathetic waste of a page in the Snoopy diary.

I wonder if I actually pitched that fit in the eyeglass place or if I held off until my mom would be spared the public humiliation. Something tells me my mom wasn't that lucky. I remember having to wear a pair of glasses that were not what I ordered while I waited a week or two to receive these bad boys:

Audra's first pair of glasses

These are from the Crayola Kids collection. They are labeled "Nicky Tortoise" which I assume is referring to the frame style and color. You think they look kind of big on me now? Imagine them on my little kid face. My mom was (and still is) a big fan of big frames. She says big frames let you see better. I don't buy into her theory. For your information, I still have every pair of glasses I've ever owned. When somebody creates a museum dedicated to me, there will be a "Hall of Glasses." Visitors will be able to observe and reflect on the evolution of my eye wear.

"Shows my mom new" means Nick-at-Nite. Patty Duke. Donna Reed. My Three Sons. You know, stuff in black and white with catchy theme songs.

I don't know what our dad sent us for Christmas that year. Sadly, the next diary entry is in February. Safe money is on pastel-colored socks and a turtle neck sweater for Audra. Probably something incredibly cool for Charles.

M.C. Hammer too legit to quit!


But this was my favorite song on the album:

Today We Had 3 Tests - December 13, 1991

Day: Fri Date: 12-13-91


Today we had 3 tests. I hope I passed them all. I went home and watched T.V. My mom came home. We went to McDonalds and met Bev, Jon an Daniel. Then we went home. We watched T.V. I went to bed.


Audra S
age 10
5th grade


Those tests must have really wiped me out. Or maybe it was the Happy Meal. This is quite possibly the world's most boring journal entry. But don't worry, little Audra. You got all As on your report card.

World's most boring journal entry?

My Mom Yelled At Me For No Reason - December 12, 1991

Day: Thurs. Dec. Date: 12, 1991


Today was the same. I went to the club and it was the same. After school was computer club. My mom picked me up from the club. We had Wendys and watched T.V. My mom & brother left me at home. I watched Simpsons, Drexel's class, an 90210. I recorded 90210. My mom and I studied for my Science test. She yelled at me for no reason!


Audra S
age 10
5th grade


Wow. Being yelled at for no reason when I'm trying to study for a test? What a horrible mother. Hey, what's "Drexel's class?" I have absolutely no recollection of this show. Do you?

Hooray for Wikipedia. Look at the cast: Dabney Coleman! Jason Biggs! Matthew Lawrence! A.J. Langer (Rayanne Graff!!)! Brittany Murphy! Edie McClurg! How on earth could a show that aired after The Simpsons with such a great premise and cast get canceled so quickly?



Oh. That's how.

Wednesday, December 11, 1991

After you bypass the lock on the Snoopy diary (by simply pulling the book open), this is the first thing you see:

In case you thought otherwise, this diary belongs to me.

 Authorship established. Great. Let's turn the page to the first entry.

Day: Wed Dec 11 Date: 1991

Today I went to school and learned. Then I went to the Boys & Girls Club. I came home and watched TV. Lou came over and took us to Ponderosa for dinner. Then we went to Osco. After that, we came home and played Uno. Then we played Raco. After I won Raco, I went to my bed. I made up a new game. I played it! Then I went to bathroom. Everybody watched a video of us. Lou left.

Audra S
age 10
5th grade

Hmm...I thought I was supposed to write my secrets in this Snoopy diary, not just a dull listing of the day's activities, including bathroom breaks. But I will cut little Audra some slack since this was her first attempt at keeping a diary.

Lou was a guy my mom was sort of dating. Apparently I kicked ass at games. I kicked so much ass I was making up new ones. And playing them! I wonder if this was the video we watched: http://www.myspace.com/video/vid/8473392

My Tweenage Diary

I found a time machine. A really embarrassing time machine.
Look:

10-year-old Audra

10-year-old Audra's diary

30-year-old Audra reading 10-year-old Audra's secrets.

What could possibly be so interesting?! 
Read little Audra's diary to find out.